Not So Alien Emotions
by runyoucleverboy-remember
Summary: Whoufflé Oneshot. Slightly long :/ Clara's ex shows up- the Doctor gets jealous- they fight and yeah. Lots of whoufflé fluff. T just to be sure. Sorry for all grammatical and spelling errors, was half asleep when writing. Please review with prompts for a second chapter if you want more!


The Doctor could tell that something wasn't right with Clara. She was pacing back on forth in the Maitland's kitchen with her hand on her hip and whispering to herself. No, something definitely wasn't right. The Doctor waited a few moments before he chose to speak up. "Clara is there something wrong?" She stopped to stare at him and he immediately wished he'd kept hi mouth shut. "Wrong? No, I'm completely fine" she snapped at him. The Doctor wasn't very good at reading signs but he could tell this was definitely sarcasm. Very angry sarcasm. He decided to stand up and walk over to her. He held her hands in his to make her stop fidgeting and pacing. "Look at me" the Doctor said gently, "What's wrong Clara?"

"It's nothing" she replied in a very stressful way, "it's stupid." She tried to turn away from him but he was still holding her hands so her head was looking to the side to avoid his glare. "It's obviously not nothing. Come on tell me, I promise I won't think it's stupid." She turned her head back to look at him.

"Last year I dated this guy. He was really sweet and everything but he was training to become a doctor and was never around and I wanted to travel we broke up to make things easier."

The Doctor wasn't entirely sure why this was making her upset now but as he was about to say this she carried on, "But he's just got a job nearby and called me asking to come over."

The Doctor still wasn't sure why she's upset so he asked, "So did he come over? I'm not too sure wh..."

"He's coming over in about five minutes." She interrupted him. "But what do I say? It's been a year! I can't exactly say "hi, how are you? Sorry I haven't called, been busy fighting aliens and saving the world?""

Her tension was so high the doctor could feel it radiating off her. "How about I explain to him that we're a thing now?" the Doctor suggested.

"What? No!" She exclaimed. "I still like him. I don't want him thinking I'm with someone else when it's not true. Especially if you introduce yourself as, "I'm the doctor, an alien from outer space and I'm your ex's new boyfriend.""

A sudden knock at the door interrupted their conversation. Clara quickly wiped the small mascara smudges under her eyes, straightened out her dress and walked towards the door. She stopped just before opening it, "You, upstairs now!" she said to the Doctor, "please for once in your life be quiet and pretend you're not here. This won't be long." He wanted to protest but something in Clara's voice, was it a slight plead, told him he shouldn't and so he went upstairs.

"Hi" Clara mumbled opening the door.

"Clara, gosh, hi!" a very handsome man cried. "It's so good to see you!" he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Good to see you too Josh" Clara smiled, still in the very long hug. The Doctor was spying from the top of the stairs. He immediately disliked, actually hated everything about Josh. The way his hair fell naturally perfect, how muscular he was, how much joy he put into Clara's face, just his general perfection. He was perfect for Clara and the Doctor hated it. He started to feel something he hadn't really felt before? Jealousy? No. The Doctor doesn't get jealous, he thought to himself, but the emotion he was feeling was clearly contradicting that. Even though it had only been a few seconds, the Doctor wanted to break up this hug. He had, had Clara in his arms for way too long now. The Doctor felt a sigh of relief, only slightly, when they finally pulled apart. "Do you want a cup of tea? Clara asked Josh.

"Yes please." he replied, following her through into the kitchen. "Don't worry, I'll make it!" he said when he saw her switching on the kettle. "I remember where everything is." He smiled. Clara looked relieved to be able to sit back and relax.

When they finally had tea in their hands, they started to talk. Little did they know that the Doctor was on all fours in the room above them, with his ear to the ground, listening into their conversation. The conversation was a lot longer than he wanted. After half an hour, the Doctor started to get impatient. Their voices were growing quieter so he couldn't hear. They had mostly been talking about his work, qualifying and promotions. Clara has babbled on about how she's still a nanny but wants to travel. She didn't even mention the Doctor! This made him very upset. A man was upstairs while she's talking to her ex and she forgets to mention him? Then he heard the question. That question. The one he really didn't want Josh to ask. "So is there anyone new around?"

"As in...?" Clara stuttered

"As in a new guy?" Josh finished. Clara sipped on her tea quickly to think of an answer. Was the Doctor the man in her life? He was a man (questionably a twelve year old boy) and he was definitely in her life, but not in that way? Or was he?

"No." She finally decided on. "Not really, just been trying to sort myself out first." She looked up at him after half- talking to the table. "You?"

"Pretty much the same." He answered. "Waiting for the right person." This seemed more of a hint than a statement. Clara didn't know what to say. She still had feelings for Josh and wanted to be with him, but then there's the Doctor. This marvellous man who had shown her the universe and who she had saved his life a thousand times. The man who she adored but he never showed one blip of emotion back. She couldn't go on feeling like a shadow to him. She wanted to be loved. Even after jumping into his time stream to save him, she thought he would have shown some emotion but he seemed too distraught over the recent loss of his wife to even notice her.

"I've been thinking," Clara spoke out of the silence, "Do you wanna meet up tomorrow? Go out somewhere?"

The Doctor froze. Tomorrow was Wednesday. He'd arrived a day too early by accident so decided to hang around while he waited. But she was making plans for a Wednesday with someone else? He wanted to run down the stairs and shout something to her, something that would explain how he felt, but he knew Clara would get angry and probably think he was saying it just so they could go somewhere tomorrow. She's never believe him. Besides, what is she felt different. She obviously felt something when she jumped into his time stream but when she woke up he'd been so upset over River, he ignored her. He wished she could remember what he said to her when she fainted. He whispered to her all the way out of his time stream. "I'm here Clara. I will always be here for you, because you are my life. MY impossible girl. The most impossible girl in the universe. And that's not because you've saved my life a thousand times. It's because you saved me once, from the darkness. You showed me that I didn't need to be sad. That life should be lived in happiness. A life I want to live with you, everyday. And you know what, Miss Clara? I think I'm a little bit in love with you."

After Josh left Clara ran upstairs to find the Doctor straightening out his tie. "What did you do while you were up here?" she asked curiously. The Doctor was sitting on her bed and looking up at her. "I was right here waiting. You took an awfully long time! I may have even fallen asleep." From that last sentence, she knew he was lying. He barely ever slept. She examined his eyes very quickly. "You're lying." She stated as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.

"I'm not!" He blurted out, trying to look shocked. "Ok, maybe fine I wasn't" He said very quickly, giving into her death glare. "I was just listening in."

"Oh, so you'll know that I'm not going out with you tomorrow and to come back next week." She said with very little emotion. She turned to walk out of the room. The Doctor noticed she was obviously upset about something. "Stop, Clara we need to talk!"

Talk? They never talk anymore. Not after Trenzalore. All she ever wants is to talk to him but he never lets her. What is their to talk about? How she sacrificed herself for him and doesn't care. How he assumes that he can make it all better by being silent and showing her new planets? How every night she has nightmares from memories that never happened but she tries to bottle them in and not tell the Doctor because she knows he won't care. Or how about how much she loves him? How willing she is to do anything for him but he'll never feel the same way. She can feel tears pricking behind her eyes at these thoughts. "Keep it together Clara" she thought to herself. She turned back around to stare at him.

"Let's talk about everything then Doctor." She snapped. "Let's talk about how you don't care about my life as long as you're safe to save the world. I mean, why should you care? You think you are so much better than the rest of the whole human race because you're the Doctor and you're the last of your superior race. Well guess what? No-one cares!" She could feel the tears streaming down her face and immediately regrets saying that. She knows how much it hurts him to mention his race. She couldn't suddenly apologise now, can she? That would make her seem stupid. She turned and quickly walked out of the door. "I'm going out." She said in a still- angry tone. "See you whenever." she murmured, grabbing her coat off the hand rail on the staircase and running down it.

The Doctor burst into tears in her room. "What has brought all this on?" He thought to himself. He could tell she was upset but she's just lost it. Is that how she truly saw him? As someone who believes they are superior to everyone else. Is that how he really was? Why hadn't he spoken up? Stopped her from leaving? Made her feel that that wasn't true. Tell her how he felt so she would calm down. Maybe let her say she felt the same? Does she feel the same way? He couldn't imagine she does after that. Not after how he'd acted towards her. He eventually decided to stand up. He left the house quietly and locked it with his screwdriver. He checked she'd taken some house keys first so that he wasn't locking her out, which would make her even angrier. He went back to his TARDIS, locked himself in his room and cried. This wasn't like him. He never cried. But he wasn't crying about what she'd said. He was crying because he felt that he'd made her feel that way, say those things. He wished he would have just told her how he felt from the moment her saw her.

She grabbed her keys and ran out of the house. She slammed the door shut and quickly leant back against it. She needed a moment to pause, breath and think. She let her tears fall heavily and then a few moments later walked down the street. She didn't know where she was walking, she just carried on. Anywhere her legs would take her. As long as it was away from the Doctor. She knew he'd be galaxies away by then but she still wanted to be sure. She knew she looked like a mess and people were staring but she didn't care. Making a date for a Wednesday was bound to upset the Doctor but he needed to know that he wasn't the only thing in her life. Well, she wanted him to know that, even though that'd not really true. He is the everything in her life and she screwed it up. She got home a few hours later and noticed the TARDIS was gone and so was the doctor. She didn't know if he'd ever come back. She told George she was ill and couldn't cook dinner or look after the kids. She went up to her room and cried herself to sleep. In her dreams the Doctor was there. Reaching out his hand for her. This wasn't like the usual dreams. They were more like memories. This was an actual dream. She reached out for him but just as she was nearly there, he turned away. Left her there in the darkness. She woke up screaming, "No, please, no. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

* * *

The whole date with Josh went wrong. All she could think about was the Doctor. At the end of the day she apologised for her rudeness. Said she was feeling ill but promised to see him the next day and act better. She was pretty much the same and once again, put it down to feeling sick.

The Doctor thought he should go and see Clara. For him it had been about two weeks. He had gone to several galaxies and planets but nothing made him happy. Every time, he looked around to see Clara's face light up when she saw something new, but it wasn't there. He thought he'd go and see her about two weeks later. Two weeks was good timing right? He'd planned what to say in his head and flew to her house. Missed her was an understatement. He needed to see her. He arrived and knocked on her door, forgetting to check the date. She opened it with wide eyes. "Doctor?" she asked. She looked shocked to see him.

"It's me!" He said loudly. "Clara, I thought we needed to talk but a bit of time as well so I'm here."

Her face looked blank. "Why?" she asked with general confusion.

"Because, like I said, we need to..."

"Why now?" She interrupted. "Doctor I was waiting to talk for weeks. You didn't even call. It's been over a month. I've made other plans, I don't have time to talk." Over a month? That can't be right. He was sometimes off, but not by more than a few days. She looked tired and although relieved to see him, very hurt at the same time. "Look, I'll be back in a few hours. You can wait around or try and get here for then." She said to him. He decided to hang around. Just before she left he thought he should ask her where she's going.

"I'm meeting up with Josh, I'm meant to be going over to his tonight but I've got to collect the kids from school first."

She was seeing him. But seeing, He knew this was his fault and the damn TARDIS. Well no, mostly him. He sat down on their sofa and turned on the TV. There was a movie on about a time traveller who leaves his wife unexpectedly. He's been there all her life to save her but at the same time he's never there. He found himself oddly relating to the situation. He cried at the end of the film and fell asleep on the sofa.

Clara re-entered the house a whole later. She had told Josh that she had to babysit that night so couldn't stay over. In truth, she needed to talk to the Doctor. She found him curled up in the front room. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping. She felt too guilty to wake him so decided to make some tea and wait. He woke up a short while later when Clara smashed a glass she was washing-up. She cursed a few times and the Doctor came through to see what was going on. "How long have you been here?" he asked her nervously.

"About two hours." She replied, sweeping the glass up on her hands and knees, not once turning to face him.

"Let me" he offered, walking over to help her.

"No, I..."

"Please, I don't want you cutting yourself." She gave him that dustpan and brush and stood back. He had it done in a minute and made sure there wasn't the tiniest bit of glass left. They turned to face each other.

She didn't want to start crying but she knew that this would either end with a bit of crying or in anger which would result in more tears. "Aren't you staying at Josh's tonight?" He spoke out of the silence.

"Um, no" she replied, "told him I needed to babysit. We need to talk first."

She was about to start her apologies but the Doctor stopped her.

"I'm sorry Clara. You are everything to me. You have always been there for me. Never stopped. You saved me. But not as in dying for me. You brought yourself into my life and saved me from myself, showed me the light if you like. Every tie I look at you I don't understand why I don't tell you how I feel. You set my world on fire, in a good way." He was awful at speeches and kept feeling like he had to explain himself. "I love the way you're eyes sparkle when she see something new, and when they sparkle every day from your beauty. I love the way you aren't afraid to tell me how you feel. You aren't afraid to do what you want. I love how my hearts start beating faster when you're in the room and how they go crazy when you touch me. I couldn't stand you giving our day to someone else because it's the only day I get to see you when I want you so much more. I don't want anyone else to be able to make you happier than I do. You are perfect for me in every way Clara and I need you. I want you. I love you."

Clara was sure he must have taken that speech from a book. He honestly doesn't feel that way, does he? He had ripped all the words right out of her mouth. He needed her? That was more than she could ever imagine. He wanted her? Really? properly really wanted her? He loved her? That word. Love. The one she'd been trying to avoid but she couldn't anymore. Because if he loves her back, what's left to be done? He may scare her so much but at the same time she loves him, everything about him. "I love you too." She finally choked out. "But Doctor, I need you to know. What I said, I didn't mean any of it..."

"I know" he whispered.

"You do?" she asked quietly

He nodded his head so slightly that if she wasn't staring so deeply into his eyes, she wouldn't have noticed. He cupped her face in his hand and she leant into his touch. He started to bend down to her face and lean in. She could feel butterflies exploding in her stomach and her heart was trying to escape from her chest. He put his lips on hers and pulled her closer, his hand holding her face. She put her hand in fists on his chest and could feel both his hearts beating incredibly fast. His lips were soft an gentle. Not asking for too much, just showing how much he cared for her. After what felt like an eternity, they both pulled away needing air. She immediately wanted to kiss him again. His hands were still on her face and they were still standing a breath away from each other. She stood on her tiptoes, pulling him in for another kiss.

Her lips felt like rose petals on his. His body screamed at her touch and he wanted to hold her there in this moment forever. Never letting go. He moved his hands to her waist, still as gentle as before. He could feel tears running down her cheek. He pulled out of the kiss to wipe them away with his thumb whilst cupping her face.

"Hey," he said softly, "it's ok."

She sobbed quietly into his chest and he held her close, rubbing her back and planting kisses into her hair, murmuring words to soothe her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"What for?" he asked.

"Everything." she replied. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Clara, never be sorry." He told her with his hands holding her face. "I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you and I never will. I will always keep you safe, I promise. This is my promise to protect you from anything and everything. Including ex-boyfriends who want you back." He said the last line playfully so she'd giggle. It was the most delightful sound and made him smile too.

She coughed to clear her throat and stepped away from him. "So, I wash, you dry?" it was more of an instruction that a question. She threw a dishcloth at his face and laughed at him.

"Oi, you!" He yelled. "Watch it, little missus." She laughed more at this and took some of the soapy bubbles in her hands and blew them into his face and hair so they were in his eyes. He made a weird face to get them out making her laugh harder. Laughter felt so good after so long.

"That's it Clara Oswald!" He smiled cheekily at her. "Better run!" He shouted.

She quickly ran screaming up the stairs. He was chasing her like a 5 year old calling out things like, "Can't run from me!" He eventually caught her when she had to stop from laughing too hard. He pulled her backwards down the stairs playfully and puffed bubbles into her hair. She was still laughing uncontrollably.

"Now we're even." He smirked

She then splashed water at him. "I win." She smiled at him and started to run again.


End file.
